Thursday, March 15, 2012

The World's Worst Patient

I am probably the world's worst patient. I have very little tolerance for illness and the side effects thereof. I began feeling cruddy on a Wednesday afternoon. I moaned and posted about my impending doom on Facebook repeatedly that evening. I begged for "chickie noodle soup" and I accused my family of ignoring me while I lanquished away. (I know for a fact The Spouse tuned me out because I mentioned money several different times and she didn't even respond. She ALWAYS responds when I mention money!)
I felt better later that evening and even attended our first homeowner's association meeting. (There's enough fodder from that meeting for multiple posts.)
On Thursday morning, I awoke feeling "yucky" but not bad enough to cancel my two appointments. So, I drank my coffee, dropped the kids off at school, hit the Starbucks and jumped on the interstate. I made it about 60 miles up the road before I pulled over at the rest area. I was starting to feel pretty crappy. As I sat in my truck, it struck me that I was getting worse by the minute. I was exhausted just from driving 60 miles and I really just wanted to recline my seat and go to sleep.
You know you are truly ill when you begin to believe that sleeping at the rest area south of St. Louis, MO is a really good idea. I think approximately 200,000 people have been assaulted, murdered, mugged, beaten or otherwise abused there in the past few years.
Instead of caving and trying to nap in Hell's Parking Lot, I called my doctor's office and asked about an appointment. They could get me in at 1:20p.m. Next, I called my two appointments and cancelled. Then, I drove to the next exit and jumped onto the southbound lanes. As with the rest of my life, the most common and mundane of tasks had to be all jacked up.
As I headed south, I saw the dark clouds ahead and watched as streaks of thick lightening shot from the sky and blasted the earth. The roar of the thunder ahead was loud enough to make me have to turn up the radio. As I drew closer to the storm, the lightening strikes got bigger, more frequent, and very, very close. The skies opened up and torrential rain fell. No natural calamity would be complete without some wind. And, as if according to plan, the wind began to blow so hard that I had a difficult time keeping my truck on the road. Finally, just to make things exciting, I drove into a hail storm.
It was at this point that I said a few things that would have made an entire Navy fleet blush. I refused to surrender and I dang sure wasn't going to stop. I was determined to drive through this and get home as quickly as possible.
I made it home, safe and sound. The trip to the doctor was an adventure in and of itself. I'll post about it soon. I promise!

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