Friday, April 6, 2012

The Pain in my Back Has Caused Envy in my Heart

Who knew you could jack your back up just from sleeping? 

Evidently, my doctor and my physical therapist new it could happen. 

It seems that on Wednesday evening, as I lay supine on my couch watching mindless television, I fell asleep in a poor position and somehow jacked my back up pretty bad. 

The doctor said something about brachial blah, blah, blah, then I heard, bulging disc, and some other words that made sense to him.  I looked at him, grimaced and nodded appropriately, then left with a prescription for some steroids and a referral for physical therapy. 

I called a friend who is a physical therapist and he told me to come on over and he would work me in. 

I filled out the necessary paperwork and went back to the treatment area.  The first level of treatment was to put some nice hot packs on my back and neck.  That felt really, really good.  Then, as he was telling about the upcoming treatment, he called me in to a little room with a table/bed thingy and a poster of the entire backside of some naked dude with all of his skin peeled away.  The naked dude was just a line drawing, not some real naked dude with his skin peeled off.

I know it's sad, but as he started explaining to me what I'd done to my back and neck, I couldn't help but look at that guy and think, "I wish my ass looked like that.  I wonder what I would have to do to have an ass like that."  My friend, the therapist, was talking about cervical and brachial thingys and discs and muscles.  I nodded, grimaced, shook my head (only a little) and pretended to understand everything he said.  In reality, I was growing envious of this line drawing's physique. 

Take a look at the picture below and tell me you aren't just a touch envious.

More on my back and the therapy that followed my envious ogling of the line-art man later.  For now, I'm going to start thinking about the gym and working with a trainer to get my backside looking like that.  (After my back heals, of course.)

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