After I finished ruminating on the line-art man's posterior area and how I might attain such a bootylicious figure for myself, my PT had me get up on this table/bed thingy that looked like something I've seen when Ghost Hunters or Ghost Adventures visits a deserted insane asylum.
|The one he put me on resembles this.|
I've wanted to do some crazy things in my life, and, truth be told, I have tried to do some of them. However, stretching my neck has not been one of those things. I watched a documentary on NatGeo about some tribal people who elongate their necks by putting rings around their necks and causing the neck to stretch and grow elongated. I will admit that I was watching the show primarily to see if the tribal women still walk around with no top on, but the neck stretching thing interested me. I have a desire to get a few tattoos and to have my ears pierced, but I have absolutely no desire to look like this...
|She's pretty but I've never wanted to compete with giraffes for my food.|
As he walked out, he said, "Now, just lay there and relax. I'll turn the lights off and you can try to sleep."
REALLY? REALLY? I think he was serious. All I could think about was those slasher movies like SAW. I've never seen those because the previews scare the crap out of me, but I have heard people say that there's a lot of torture and being tied down in those movies. So, I lay there really still with my iPhone in my hand, waiting for some creepy slasher dude to come in and begin to try to experiment on me. Sleeping in a dark room while strapped to a table with a machine pulling on your neck is just not an option for me.
The "treatment" went pretty well. No slasher guy appeared. I didn't end up looking like that lady above and I did experience some relief from my pain.
As I was getting ready to leave, he told me that he had a portable device that did the same thing. He said he would let me take it home and use it so I could get relief from the pain when I needed it. He gave me the micro-version of the neck elongation device with some instructions and then wished me well. He told me to call him in a few days and let him know how I was.
Last night, I decided that the pain was returning and that I might try the portable neck stretcher device. I had The Spouse help me get strapped in. I lay there, on the bedroom floor, with my neck stretching and everyone leaving me alone. Until the phone rang...
|'Cause that's how I roll!"|