Monday, December 12, 2011

How to Effectively Use Your Windshield Time

My current job allows me the opportunity to travel quite a bit. Some weeks, I put as many as 1200 miles on my truck. That's a lot of windshield time!

In order to make the time pass, I listen to a lot of talk radio along with stations that suit my mood at the time. My boss would rather I spend the 1200 miles per week thinking about how I'm going to make my next sale or increase my business. She's kinda kooky like that. I do spend some time thinking about those things, but 1200 miles of thinking like that might make you go crazy. That may be how she ended up the way she is. Which is INCREDIBLY AWESOME AND SUPER-D-DUPERTY TERRIFIC! (I may be crazy but I ain't stupid!)

Those of you who travel as much as or more than I do will probably relate to this. Otherwise, I'm kinda crazy and may need to increase my medication.

So, as I motor up and down the interstate and state highways and county roads and city streets, I have a lot of random thoughts. I thought I'd share some with you:

1. Why do dolphins have such cute faces? Is it to fool us into a false sense of security? I've heard that they attack people at times. Maybe they plan on taking over the world. I need to start a "Watch the Dolphins" campaign.

2. If I had to define my work as a shape, what shape would it be? I haven't settled this one yet. I'm thinking along the lines of a rhombus, though.

3. Why is it that the black sheep has to give up his wool while all the white sheep get to keep theirs? He has three bags full and has to give one to "the master," one to "the dame" and one to "the little boy who lives down the lane." How come the white sheep aren't giving anything up? I'm smelling some nasty racism here. It's troubling!

4. Why does Illinois have 2-3 state employees manning a rest area when the state is almost bankrupt? I love their rest areas. They are beautiful and very clean but does it really take 2-3 people to maintain each one? Missouri rest areas seldom have one person in them. (They are also pretty nasty.)

5. Has anyone ever figured out how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

6. Do Muslim people say WWAD, or do Buddhists say WWBD, like Christians say WWJD?

7. Has Starbucks secretly mixed something in their coffee to make people addicted? I'm thinking so. I find it hard to enter a town with one and not stop by.

8. Why isn't every gas station along a major interstate or highway equipped with pay-at-the-pump pumps? Really, in this era, shouldn't that be a requirement for operating a gas station along an interstate or major highway?

9. Do my children REALLY miss me or do they just lead me along when I call because they see me as elderly and frail and in need of some positive reinforcement?

There, I'll stop with nine. Most people would go to 10 but I'm fighting my OCD tendencies this week and I'm stopping with 9. I also think a lot about my OCD tendencies when I'm driving. That statement doesn't really count as number ten because I didn't put the number in front of it. See, I'm beating this OCD thing already!

I hope this post has given you a glimpse into my life as a road warrior. I'm off to start another week of selling in Missouri and Illinois. I'll be thinking about you and a host of other things as I make my way up and down the road!

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