|Allow me to introduce you to Kitty Boo Boo. Say hi to the nice people Kitty Boo Boo! "Meeeeoooowwwrrrrrr!" (That's Kitty Boo Boo talk for "Hey, ya'll!")|
Oh, Kitty Boo Boo, I need you so! I want to buy you and bring you home. I want to give you a place of honor on my back deck. (I would bring you in the house and carry you from room to room but The Spouse has told me that Kitty Boo Boo would have to be "an outside cat." She's insanely jealous and goes psycho when any other woman even looks my way...except for the hookers in North St. Louis, MO and East St. Louis, IL...but that's another story for another day.) Maybe, when I finally get to bring you home, you'll be able to work your magic on her and you'll get to come in!
I have no idea how much she is. I plan on making a trip back to the store where she currently lives and finding out. Once I do, I'll put her in layaway so no one else can claim her and then I'll pay her way to freedom!
I can't wait to hold her and bring her to her new home! She's going to love it here! She can join Lilo and George in their crazy antics on the deck! She'll stand guard over us and make sure no deck climbing hooligans come in during the night. She'll weave her magic all over the house and protect us from clowns and scary little people. (That's another phobia of mine. I'm NOT a hater! I just get a bit freaked out by little people.)
Until we meet again my sweet, adorable, crazy, silly Kitty Boo Boo...
If you would like to contribute to the Bring Kitty Boo Boo home fund, please contact me via email at email@example.com.
UPDATED: I took my mother, sister and daughter to meet her in person today. She was still in her corner, perched regally...poised to bring her magic to my home.
My mother gasped when she first saw her. I was so happy. Then, she said, "What is wrong with you?!! Have you lost all of your senses? That's hideous! And, it's so much bigger than I thought it was!"
Luckily for her, I shushed her and explained that Kitty Boo Boo had magical powers and we didn't want to offend her. Can you believe that my mother looked at me like I was the crazy one!
My sister muttered, "My God, you're just stupid.". Then she said something else that sounded like muttered cussing and walked off. Jealousy is so ugly!
My sweet Baby Girl shrieked a bit. I thought it was from excitement. Evidently not. She wouldn't come near Kitty Boo Boo and kept saying she was afraid it would come to life at night and kill people while they slept. These kids and their silly imaginations!
As I stood there petting her head and caressing her ears, I picked up the tag and discovered that she's from Brazil and she is hand carved. I also discovered that she is $170. So, Kitty Boo Boo sleeps in the antique store again tonight.
If you would like to help free Kitty Boo Boo from her bondage, contact me here: firstname.lastname@example.org. No gift is too large or to small to help this poor thing find a good home!