|George Washington, Esq. |
(And, don't judge us on the bedding. The Heathen sleep on 1,000,000 threadcount sheets made from virgin silkworms that have been hand fed organic silkwork food while we sleep on straw.)
|Lilo Q. Kittycat, Weirdo. |
(This one tries to pull off the sweet and innocent look, but she's really bizarre.)
It all begins around 4:00a.m. each and every morning. One or both of these two cute-faced demons begins to prowl around on the bed. It's all subtle at first. A simple paw on your leg or arm. Soft purring and a puff of kittycat breath in your face.
If that fails to get the desired response, they resort to Level 2 Catastrophic Mayhem. They move to the dresser and begin knocking things over and off. They go to the night stand and pretend to sharpen non-existent claws. There's meowing and really, really loud purring.
When it becomes apparent to them that this will not get the desired result, they move to Level 3 Total Assault and Conquer mode. This involves one or both of them springboarding off of the dresser and onto the bed. If I or The Spouse just happen to be in the path of the designated landing area, all the better for them.
So, I slog out of bed and get them a tablespoon of tuna. You would think they would be grateful. They aren't. As a matter of fact, there's a bit of snootiness in their attitudes when I tell them that's all they are getting.