Monday, August 20, 2012

TRP: 3 Creepy Clowns: 0!

It all happened this past Saturday.  I awoke early in the morning, made my coffee and curled up on the back deck under a blanket with my iPad.  I was in heaven.  It's August and it was cool enough that I needed a blanket just to sit on the back deck and drink my coffee. 

If you don't live here, you may not understand.  Our weather in July, August and September tends to range from oppresively hot and humid to oppressively hot and humid.  This morning was a sign from The Almighty that today was going to be a good one.

The plan for the day looked like this:

10:00a.m. - Drop The Heathen off with Mawmaw and Pawpaw at the local conservation office to watch the hummingbirds be banded. That's a whole other post.  It's not like they make them perform in a band for everyone's entertainment or anything. 

Spend the rest of the day in a state of adult, childless bliss!

We dropped The Heathen off and headed downtown to our favorite little coffee shop.  We hadn't spent time just wandering around downtown in a long, long time.  We grabbed our caramel macchiatos and headed to the farmer's market. 

After a quick walk through the farmer's market we wandered in and out of some of the "antique" stores. 

Here's a look at what we saw...

Here's a picture of a rather friendly looking clown who has captured a cute panda bear.  Notice the cleverly disguised sorcery markings on his hat.  It screams "Fun and Fanciful!"  Poor panda, he has no idea he's been capture by a minion of Satan.

This picture clearly identifies the evil and clever scary-as-hell clown leader.  He's exuberant over the fact that they've captured a panda and will now be able to steal its magic for their evil purposes.  Everyone who understands the inner workings of "the other world" knows that pandas possess great magic.  A clown with panda magic is a very, very dangerous clown!

This creepy clown henchman probably has seven sharp knives inside that "squeeze box."  After the other two creepy-as-hell clowns capture you using panda magic, this one carves you up.

There's a good reason these were hanging in the very back of the store obscured from view by a lot of other stuff.  I happened to have been born with a clown sixth sense and I can detect a clown within a 200 yard radius.  It's just a feeling I get and I don't ignore it!  Kinda like Spiderman and his tingly feeling. 

My clown sense could better be described as a "Sweet baby Jesus there's a clown nearby!" shock to the gut!

While these clown paintings may not be evil, there's always the chance that whoever painted them was a clown and wove their evil into the painting.  You can NEVER be too cautious with clowns and my "Sweet baby Jesus there's a clown nearby!" senses were on full alert!

Some tribal people, who tend to understand magic or "juju" better than the rest of us, believe that taking a picture of someone can capture their soul. 

Ha!  Gotcha creepy panda killing clowns!  Your souls are MINE and I'm sending them straight to the interwebs and the original pictures to the trash can on my computer!  I'll split your evil souls in two!  (insert maniacal laughter here because bwahahahahahahahahahaha just doesn't give the same feeling as the maniacal laughter you can interject from your own memories.)



  1. As a professional clown I can tell you that you wouldn't believe the number of people that are afraid of clowns due to that stupid movie.
    A clowns mouth design speaks measures, it should never go outside the pupil of the eye. When it does it effects the overall look of a clown resulting in fear.

  2. I feel the same way about Picasso art!


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