Two Distinctly Unrelated Conversations I'd Like to Share With You

The following are snippets of real conversations that have occurred recently.

Conversation #1:
The Setting:  Holiday World and Splashin' Safari in Santa Claus, IN.  The Spouse and I are walking through the park on our way to get some water.  She is holding a big bag of blue cotton candy. 

Blue Cotton Candy.  Nectar of the Gods. Precursor to diabetes!
Question:  Why is Cotton Candy NOT on the Food Pyramid?!

The Spouse:  I have to take my medicine.
Me:  Okay.  Let's go to one of their drink places and get you some water.
The Spouse:  I'm supposed to eat some food with the medicine.  Do you think eating cotton candy would count as food?
Me:  (after pausing for a moment) Who am I to judge?  I once had a few gin and tonics and called it "lunch."  If I can call gin and tonic "lunch," you can call cotton candy "food."
The Spouse:  This is why I love you.

Conversation #2:
The Setting:  In the car on the way to eat out with the grandparents.

The Girl Child:  Can I ride in the front seat?
Me:  If you can convince your Momma to let you.
TGC:  Can you lock just this door? (Front passenger)
Me:  No.
TGC:  I'm going to buckle up and make her get in the back.

(Walks out into the garage. Stops, looks at TGC, shakes her head and opens the door.)

The Spouse:   Get out, kid.  Get in the back.
TGC:  Forget it old lady.  Hop in the back and let's go.
The Spouse:  (Looking at me for support) Really?  You think this is funny?
Me:  I didn't say a thing! 
TGC:  (thumb of right hand stuck out and motioning to the back seat)  Get in the back lady!  We gotta go!  I gotta get my tacos on!
Me:  Yeah!  Get in the back Rosa!  You're holding up the bus!
The Spouse:  You all think this is funny, now...
TGC:  Good one Dad!  I just got me some history and humor all at the same time!