If you've read my earlier post about not harming the boy child, this will make a bit more sense.

Math is the bane of my existence. I can add, subtract, multiply, divide, and even handle simple fractions. However, when you start giving me word problems, I FREAK! I also do not understand algebra, geometry, trigonometry, or calculus. Calculus is that nasty stuff that builds up on your teeth no matter how obsessive/compulsive you are about dental hygiene. What does that have to do with math? Does my dentist count up the little calculus pieces for some research project? I have no earthly idea what Trigonometry is.

Here's an example of a problem The Boy Child needed help with: Bob bought 41 apples and oranges. He bought 14 more apples than oranges. How many apples and oranges did he buy?

Before we try to solve this, I have some questions:

1. Why does Bob need 41 apples and oranges? Is there an impending fruit shortage?

2. Why does Bob favor the apple over the orange? Is Bob secretly prejudiced against the orange but bought them because he wanted to look like he's not an anti-orangite?

3. If Bob is making fruit salad, that's a hell of a salad and it's going to be a boring fruit salad!

4. Why was some dude who writes math problems stalking Bob in the fruit aisle? Somebody needs to get a life!

5. When Bob checked out at the grocery store, did the checker question him about his excessive fruit purchase?

6. Is Bob attempting to make some form of new meth that doesn't require pseudoephedrine?

7. Will state and federal lawmakers begin discussing placing fruit behind locked doors and limit the number of apples and oranges you can buy?

8. Why is it anyone else's business what kind and how many apples and oranges Bob bought?

Bob needs to watch his back! People are stalking him and reporting his fruit purchases. Personally, I think Bob needs to make a public statement explaining his behavior!

Now, on to solving the problem. I took one look at that problem, rebuked it, and called The Spouse in!

Here's what I don't get...when will I or my children ever give a fat rat's tail about how many more apples than oranges some man buys? Bob bought them. He knows how many he has of each. Just ask him and move on. When will I or my children ever be in a situation where figuring out something like this will matter? I defy you to give me a real life instance where this is applicable.

I think we need to focus on adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing! Leave Bob and his apples and oranges alone! (After he issues that public explanation!)

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